Identical
by redcat512
Summary: Hikaru and Kaoru. Drabbleish. Kaoru’s third person point of view.


**Identical**

**Rating: **K I guess

**Warnings: **Um, duh, it's OURAN. And the Hitachiin twins. Enough said.

**Summary:** Hikaru and Kaoru. Drabble-ish. Kaoru's third person point of view. **(edit: thanks to an anonymous reviewer for pointing this out, i dont know what i was thinking)**

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Hikaru and Kaoru are twins. Thus they are supposed to be identical in almost every aspect. 

But sometimes Kaoru wonders if that's true.

Because sometimes, he notices that Hikaru may laugh at something or someone that Kaoru doesn't find funny (in fact finds it rather mean) but laughs along with his brother. Even if he feels guilty. Even if he feels like a hypocrite.

Sometimes he wonders why it's always '_Hikaru-and-Kaoru'_ and not the other way round. But then again, he wouldn't want it to be '_Kaoru-and-Hikaru'_ either. Because then he would be the one in charge. And then Hikaru would be the one in the shadow, and he can't bear to think that either of them is more or less than the other. Because then they'd be different, and if they're different, then maybe he's not as important to Hikaru as his brother is to him, or maybe he can't read Hikaru as well as he thinks he can, or maybe it really _is_ all just an act that they are so alike and so close and can talk and think in sync.

And if they're not in sync, then they aren't 'they' anymore, and are just two genetically alike individuals. And then Kaoru is alone, and has no one to rely on.

It scares him to think that Hikaru might not find him and (and more significantly) _them_ as important. Because sometimes Kaoru looks at Hikaru, and Hikaru is looking into the distance. Or, more and more often now, he sees Hikaru looking at Haruhi.

And it's a bit sweet, and it's a lot painful to know that Hikaru has something (crush, the word is crush) that Kaoru doesn't share. And he loves Haruhi too, because she's the first person ever (_not even mother or father ever did_) to get to know them well enough to tell them apart or to see them as two, rather than one.

But he can't yet bear to let Hikaru go; so for the time being, seeing Haruhi just hurts, because she's another reminder that they _aren't _one. And so maybe the word 'crush' _is_ appropriate to describe how he feels, because this hurts, and it feels like someone is clenching (crushing) a hand around that stupid, fickle heart.

The same one that is supposed to be an exact replica of Hikaru's, but somehow work completely differently.

And so Kaoru fakes the smiles as they fake their little act for the host club clients.

And sometimes he can notice as Hikaru's eyes shift to look somewhere behind Kaoru, and Kaoru knows instinctively who it is behind him.

And even though sometimes he gets angry and jealous, because Hikaru is _his_ and no stupid female is going to take away what's been his for his entire life, but then he gets a hold of himself and realizes that he's being stupid.

Because Hikaru still comes crying to him for help, and he still doesn't even have to tell Kaoru what he's thinking, because they both know (even though the telepathy doesn't always work the other way round, and sometimes Kaoru wonders if it works at all).

And because Haruhi isn't trying to take anyone away from anyone, (maybe it will all just end in heartbreak as Haruhi gives her well practiced 'friends' speech, he almost hopes) and because she is his friend (maybe the first ever. Besides Hikaru, but that goes without saying) and because he thinks that she is good for his brother, she makes him a better person.

But saying this to himself doesn't take away the pain that is still there.

He guesses that they really are just two people who happen to look like each other, and happened to have grown up together, and so have lots of the same experiences, but they're not the same _person_ – never were, never will be.

He wonders if they were ever anything special. Maybe 'twins' is just siblings who happen to celebrate their birthday on the same day. He wouldn't know; Kaoru is his only sibling. He'll have to ask Kyouya or Hunny sometime. Is this what having a plain old brother feels like? Then he remembers that no one (besides Haruhi) is allowed to know that they're not special, they're not one, they're just _brothers_; he spits the word out in disgust.

Sometimes, he fancies he can be almost as vicious as Hikaru. Then he wonders if he's only pretending to himself, and gets confused all over again. Is it lying if he thinks it's the gospel truth? It doesn't have to be true; it just has to be a consolation.

So for the time being, they're still the Hitachiin twins, they're still _Hikaru-and-Kaoru_ (and not the other way round) and no one (besides Haruhi, but that goes without saying) can tell them apart.

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**End **(I think)

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**Author's Note:** I'm not really sure if this is finished or a work in progress. But I guess right now I can't see anything missing (of what I originally wanted this to be), but that could just be because I didn't have much sleep and am barely functioning. 

Right, I've gotten this out of my system, not I can go back to watching FMA like I'm supposed to be. XD plot bunnies are annoying.

Yes, it's more OHSHC. So sue me. I **am** working on LHR... promise.


End file.
